Wednesday, 24 November 2010

reflecting on the past year

it seems only fitting to do so, after the end of this gruelling year.

Of all things, this year has been a year of learning. Learning to be independent without family, learning to cook, to wash, to clean, learning at the bedside, learning what it truly means to practice medicine. Learning what it means to trust God every step of the way.

OSCE just ended, and I know in some ways I'm being harsh on myself, but I also know I didn't do well. For the written test too. I also know deep down inside me there is a great fear, a fear of losing all that I've accomplished, losing all that I've worked so hard for. And an even greater fear, that if you ask me, if I do lose all of that this year, will I still trust God? Father you've searched my heart, you know my ways... help me Father, hear my plea, let me say that come what may, I will trust in the Lord my God my Saviour. Be still my prideful soul.

And God? I know you hear this too- PLEASE help me to pass. pretty please?

amen.

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