It's May! Against all odds, God has brought me to a goal that seemed so far in the beginning- Year 5, the life I've been experiencing since the start of this year. You can't deny the rush of pride that comes with introducing yourself as a year 5, however tiny. But with it comes so much responsibility, and all that responsibility is only a glimpse of the life ahead as a doctor, and you wonder if you have what it takes. Thank God I'm not alone, that in everything I do, my God is watching.
Reading the Cochrane protocol late into the night, I wonder if this is the life I'm meant to have. All those half-painted dreams of helping people, wanting to spend my time bringing smiles to patients' faces but am ankles deep in research, missing interaction with children but suddenly apprehensive of paediatric posting... Now I realise the reason we were given Year 5 relatively exam-free- it is to give us time to figure out our next step of life. Being a child of God, my task is both made simpler and more complicated at the same time. In one sense it is more difficult because I need to remember it is not about me but about His greater purpose, but in another sense it is easier because He has gone before me to show me the way. It sometimes feels like I'm on the edge of a cliff and it would just take one more step for me to fall off, but how will you learn to fly unless you let your feet off the ground?
This is it- the process of me growing up and maturing as a young medical professional, as an adult, as a follower of Christ. It is both wonderful and yet scary, and I am both excited and apprehensive. I just had to make a note of this rare moment of solitude and rumination before life slips me by again.
Note to self: Remember who is in control, and relish the time you have.
Now to practice what I believe in.
