Vestige of the past

I was looking through some of my old scribblings and found this. Although I don't echo the sentiments of this poem anymore, I thought it would only be fair to it if it were allowed its moment of glory in the public sphere =)

There... to be read by others besides its author for the first time.

Presenting... Untitled(Until someone suggests a better name).

You ask me not to think so much,
But sometimes all I can do is think,
In the nights I spend missing your touch,
Between us there seems to be one lost link.

I can't help but wonder if we will last,
When all around us people are splitting,
I can't help but think of days gone past,
And wonder will we have a happy ending.

Universities, tests and applications,
Seem more menacing day by day,
Building between us more complications,
Will we ever find a way?

I'm so happy each time we're reunited,
But at the same time I dread it too,
Cuz I know we'll once again be separated,
How many more times will we have to go through?

None of this is your fault I know very well,
I know this pain I'm feeling is shared by you,
But your thoughts I really wish that I could tell,
Then maybe I'd know what I'm supposed to do.

Budding dreams go fleeting by,
If I reach my hand out, will I lose yours?
Will our final word be goodbye?
Is our love destined for a different course?

I wish I could explain to you all my fears,
I don't know if you'll understand,
The dreams and fantasies, all the tears,
Forgive me, everything just seems so out of hand.

A year from now, where will you be?
Will I still belong in your heart then?
Will we be one, blissful, carefree?
Or will I have become only your friend?

I'm asking these questions not for an answer,
I just want you to know what's on my mind,
to let you know how much I want us to stay together,
To know if you care too, and think in kind.

We each have our own journey to take,
I'll pray and try to meet your pace,
We each have our decisions to make,
But just sometimes I wonder,
In your future will I have a place?

I look back, and I thank God. I still believe that everything happens for a reason, even if you'll never understand what the reason is.

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing you pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be Your name.

If you care enough...

Please post this on your blog now to help:

Chung Lern and Nian Ning’s families would like all families and friends of the victims, dead or alive, in the Slim River Bus Crash to come forward and join them in taking action against the bus company. Stand up to seek justice for these three innocent individuals, who were all so young and full of life.

If you have a blog, please call out to ANYONE who knows someone who survived or did not survive the crash to come forward to join the Lee family.

Make a huge difference, make a huge fuss.

For now, you may contact Lee Chung Lern at chunglern@gmail.com or preferably on his handphone at 012-6670368.

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For those who had no idea what that was about, especially people overseas, you can read about it here:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/1/28/nation/20146099&sec=nation&focus=1

I really, really, really didn't get it. Inevitably, the "why" question comes into play everytime something like this happens.

Mark told me this, "God chose an innocent buddhist girl to stir the hearts of many."

The last thing Mark said really impacted me-
"The mercy of God is greater... than anything we could ever imagine."


I reread this chapter in Rilla of Ingleside written by LM Montgomery- the last book in the 7-book series Anne of Green Gables.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A letter came from Walter's commanding officer, telling them that he had
been killed instantly by a bullet during a charge at Courcelette. The same
day there was a letter for Rilla from Walter himself.

Rilla carried it unopened to Rainbow Valley and read it there, in the
spot where she had had her last talk with him. It is a strange thing to
read a letter after the writer is dead--a bitter-sweet thing, in which
pain and comfort are strangely mingled. For the first time since the
blow had fallen Rilla felt--a different thing from tremulous hope and
faith--that Walter, of the glorious gift and the splendid ideals, still
lived, with just the same gift and just the same ideals. That could not
be destroyed--these could suffer no eclipse. The personality that had
expressed itself in that last letter, written on the eve of Courcelette,
could not be snuffed out by a German bullet. It must carry on, though
the earthly link with things of earth were broken.

"We're going over the top tomorrow, Rilla-my-Rilla," wrote Walter. "I
wrote mother and Di yesterday, but somehow I feel as if I must write you
tonight. I hadn't intended to do any writing tonight--but I've got to.
Do you remember old Mrs. Tom Crawford over-harbour, who was always
saying that it was 'laid on her' to do such and such a thing? Well, that
is just how I feel. It's 'laid on me' to write you tonight--you, sister
and chum of mine. There are some things I want to say before--well,
before tomorrow...

...And Rilla, I'm not afraid. When you hear the news, remember that. I've won
my own freedom here--freedom from all fear. I shall never be afraid of
anything again--not of death--nor of life, if after all, I am to go on
living. And life, I think, would be the harder of the two to face--for
it could never be beautiful for me again. There would always be such
horrible things to remember--things that would make life ugly and
painful always for me. I could never forget them. But whether it's life
or death, I'm not afraid, Rilla-my-Rilla, and I am not sorry that I
came. I'm satisfied. I'll never write the poems I once dreamed of
writing--but I've helped to make Canada safe for the poets of the
future--for the workers of the future--ay, and the dreamers, too--for
if no man dreams, there will be nothing for the workers to fulfil--the
future, not of Canada only but of the world--when the 'red rain' of
Langemarck and Verdun shall have brought forth a golden harvest--not in
a year or two, as some foolishly think, but a generation later, when the
seed sown now shall have had time to germinate and grow. Yes, I'm glad I
came, Rilla. It isn't only the fate of the little sea-born island I love
that is in the balance--nor of Canada nor of England. It's the fate of
mankind. That is what we're fighting for. And we shall win--never for a
moment doubt that, Rilla. For it isn't only the living who are fighting
--the dead are fighting too. Such an army cannot be defeated.

Is there laughter in your face yet, Rilla? I hope so. The world will
need laughter and courage more than ever in the years that will come
next... 

...I meant to write to Una tonight, too, but I won't have time now. Read
this letter to her and tell her it's really meant for you both--you two dear, fine loyal girls. Tomorrow, when we go over the top--I'll think of you both--of your laughter, Rilla-my-Rilla, and the steadfastness in Una's blue eyes--somehow I see those eyes very plainly tonight, too.Yes, you'll both keep faith--I'm sure of that--you and Una. Andso--goodnight. We go over the top at dawn."

"I will keep faith, Walter," she said steadily. "I will work--and teach
--and learn--and laugh, yes, I will even laugh--through all my years,
because of you and because of what you gave when you followed the call."

Rilla meant to keep Walter's letter as a a sacred treasure. But, seeing
the look on Una Meredith's face when Una had read it and held it back to
her, she thought of something. Could she do it? Oh, no, she could not
give up Walter's letter--his last letter. Surely it was not selfishness
to keep it. A copy would be such a soulless thing. But Una--Una had so
little--and her eyes were the eyes of a woman stricken to the heart,
who yet must not cry out or ask for sympathy.

"Una, would you like to have this letter--to keep?" she asked slowly.

"Yes--if you can give it to me," Una said dully.

"Then--you may have it," said Rilla hurriedly.

"Thank you," said Una. It was all she said, but there was something in
her voice which repaid Rilla for her bit of sacrifice.

Una took the letter and when Rilla had gone she pressed it against her
lonely lips. Una knew that love would never come into her life now--it
was buried for ever under the blood-stained soil "Somewhere in France."
No one but herself--and perhaps Rilla--knew it--would ever know it.
She had no right in the eyes of her world to grieve. She must hide and
bear her long pain as best she could--alone. But she, too, would keep
faith.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It brings me to tears every time to read this chapter. Who do you sympathise with most? Una? Rilla? Walter? Some would say poor *substitute name of favourite character*...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Pore, pore Walter," sighed Mrs. Reese.

"Do not you come here calling him poor Walter," said Susan indignantly,
appearing in the kitchen door, much to the relief of Rilla, who felt
that she could endure no more just then. "He was not poor. He was richer
than any of you. It is you who stay at home and will not let your sons
go who are poor--poor and naked and mean and small--pisen poor, and so
are your sons, with all their prosperous farms and fat cattle and their
souls no bigger than a flea's--if as big."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guess it all boils down to priorities. It often takes an incident like this to wake us up from our folly. It is what we do after the incident that determines whether she has died in vain (I'm saying this at the risk of being called a hypocrite). Have we learnt?

I think as teenagers, we probably know better than any age group the art of procrastination, because we think we have our whole life ahead of us.

"I'll apologise to her tomorrow."
"Not now God, I'll share when I'm really ready."
"Maybe we'll get back together in the future."
"I'm too busy now Mum, maybe another day?"
"I'll post up that post about Nian Ning's family asking for help some other day."

I read her blog post Sometimes When We Touch, and my heart aches. This song once meant so much to me, and knowing that she once felt the same way I did... I can't adequately say how it makes me feel.

Then I read her blog post entitled Someday, and my heart feels like breaking. Did the person whom she meant the posts for know she meant it for him/her? Argh...

And it just occurred to me- if you knew that you were to die tomorrow, would you be a better person and/or Christian today? So often people think that they have years and years before them, that there's no need to decide which god to believe in now, but sometimes there isn't... You think you have all the time in the world to share, but sometimes there isn't...

Today today it's all or nothing
Today today I live for one thing
To give you praise in everything I do

One of my favourite quotes:
"The saddest words of tongue or pen are these- 'it might have been'..."

Your call. Today.




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"You didn't share the bitterness.
Sharing means you lessen it...
You replicated it..."

........................

I'm sorry. That was never my intention.

HAHA!

I found this on salvatore_dali's blog. He's an ex-fund manager and writes for the Star Biz Week.
FUNNY!!

I know my sense of humour is weird =D

Thirsty

I feel... dry. I desperately need a change. Everything seems... so.... shallow.

There must be more than this
O breath of God, come breathe within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for You
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray

Consuming fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
With us

Come like a rushing wind
Clothe us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
Leave us abandoned to Your praise
Lord let Your glory fall
Lord let Your glory fall

Today's the 27th, but my scripture calendar shows the 28th's. Guess what it says.

Psalm 22:1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning.

The challenge: Where are you today? On the road, walking toward Him? Sitting down, too bewildered to even formulate questions? Or are you kneeling right at His bleeding feet?

Break my heart with what breaks Yours
Set me apart for Your kingdom's cause

When will I ever learn?? Petty petty petty petty petty things... ARGH...

I wonder how many of you will understand what I'm talking about.

P.S. Li! Or Nick! Or anyone who's reading this! I don't get this part: "Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning." Care to venture an explanation?

********************************************************************************

I was looking for desktop wallpapers the other day. I found these with Li Hong, or rather he did most of the finding XD

Be worthy love, and love will come.

Laughter is the best medicine...

... for both sadness and boredom. In my opinion at least.

Bro introduced this to me- a ventriloquist and his puppets. Here's one episode: It's extremely funny!!! TRUST me!!

Anyone who needs a laugh (you know who you are), please click on the link.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sLQScKEm59c

You won't regret it =)

So I was away in Malacca...

... and now I'm back.

I'm so blessed. I really am. There's just so much love around me. During the few days I've been in Malacca, I've been spoilt rotten by my grandparents.
Bruised-cut-banana-left-in-the-open-for-many-hours-and-got-oxidised-rotten. And my cousins! I LOVE them to bits!

And... I hate goodbyes. Take today for example:

The taxi's supposed to come at 2. At 12, I was all packed. Grandma was a flurry of activity- packing food, food and more food for me to bring back up. Watching her pack, S.H.E's song Always On My Mind came to mind.

如果能有什么送你，我也不会这样着急，至少有部分的我陪着你。
If there's something I could give you, I wouldn't be so flustered, at least a part of me will remain with you.

Guess that's how she feels... my heart ached. Remembering what she said about her only wish is to live to see us graduate and get married and have kids, it almost made me want to simply choose the shortest course and graduate, grab the first guy off the street and head off to the church and registrar, just to make her happy. Sigh... poor grandma. And grandpa.

My autistic cousin, Sheng Yan was also dealing with his parting woes, albeit in quite another manner. He clung to my side the whole time, asking me why I couldn't leave a day later.

At 1.45, the taxi came. "So early..." Grandpa said. I felt that familiar lump in my throat... and determinedly swallowed it down. Having put all my luggage in the boot, I hugged everyone tightly. Sheng Yan valiantly tried to hold onto my arm and continue a conversation with me. Probably he figured if we kept on talking, I couldn't leave...

Grandpa and grandma closed the car door after me. We waved one last goodbye, and the car turned the corner.

I dissolved into tears...

I'm so melodramatic XD But see why I hate goodbyes??


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One of the nights in Malacca, I really couldn't sleep, and I had a notebook and a pen with me. So tada! Some more random feelings. Flo and Ming Yi, if you're reading this I'm so sorry! I felt like writing in Mandarin more than I did in English. Sorry!

冬天的也许

也许时间可以倒退
也许现在只属幻觉...

冬天爱上了秋天
爱得心力交瘁
却说不清到底爱上了她什么

也许冬天再勇敢一些
就能与秋天一起分享春天的美丽
一起享受夏天相恋的热情

冬天，却选择了沉默
你问他为什么？

冬天说
也许时间可以倒退
退至我还没爱上她的时候
也许现在只属幻觉
我根本没爱上她
秋天与我之间存在着太多太多的也许
我选择了沉默
至少与秋天拥有不会分手的肯定

因为太多的也许
最后, 也只是也许...

I've been thinking...

Lately I've been feeling very lethargic- probably like how William Shakespeare felt when he wrote Life's Brief Candle. I've often wondered why the education ministry chose to introduce this poem to us in form 5.

Tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps from this petty pace from day to day
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
the way to dusty death.

Maybe because they thought it would be relevant- especially if you were one of those who attended tuition monday to friday from afternoon till night =P I've always thought this poem uses some very strong language (I didn't take english lit so pardon me if I'm wrong). Look at the 3rd line. Fool. FoOL. FOOL. Not a word to be taken lightly. It really got me thinking. Have I been a fool? Am I still a fool?

To my chagrin I can't give a vehement no.

To be honest, every time I surf through blogs and email and msn with you guys, I have to admit it, I envy you. Especially those studying abroad. The feeling creeps up on me and I quickly brush it off most of the time, but sometimes I entertain it, and it sucks me almost dry. Then I push it away. But the damage's been done. It's not that I'm not satisfied with what I have, I'm just... plain greedy. Pang Han you're so right. Hence I apply and apply, giving my aunt, my parents, Ms Jeanetta a considerable amount of trouble in the process. The months I have spent (and am still spending) applying, both for universities and scholarships... I'm so exhausted.

The last few days I've been poring over CNBC and StarOnline news. It just struck me just how MANY people there are out there, just trying to scrape a living.

-Look at the credit crunch problem. Citibank had to lay off TWENTY FOUR THOUSAND people (correct me if I'm wrong)! 24000 people are now jobless and unable to support their families. Plus the fact that US might be going into recession, and the current free fall status in the stock market. People are complaining about how undecisive and (forgive me) useless Bernanke is. Poor guy. I bet you he could use a little sympathy now.

-Look at Iraq. Sunnis fighting Shiites. Al-Qaeda fighting Sunnis. US fighting Al-Qaeda. Al-Qaeda, Sunnis and Shiites fighting US. (Once again, correct me if I'm wrong!!) And what do the US soldiers really want? They want to go home... my heart really goes out to them. But there's nothing to be done. If they leave, Iraq becomes a terrorist haven. If they don't, US loses more money. And LIVES! But the shit has hit the fan! I think the US has to stay to clean up the mess they created before leaving. Stop the fan from moving at least! They should never have gone in!!! But you know what people always say~ hindsight is always 20-20 vision =) Guilty as charged =P

-Look at the Gaza Strip. Israelis and Palestinians strapping themselves with bombs and hugging onto each other for dear life. People are DYING there. Just to make a point.
(OH! Just a random thought: I watched Powerpuff Girls just the other day with my cousin XD The people and the monsters were warring and protesting against each other. Havoc reigned. So who else had to step in? POWERPUFF GIRLS! =)
The people said they couldn't live if the monsters were there. The monsters said they couldn't live if the people were around. The people said they could never agree on anything with the monsters. The monsters said they could never agree on anything with the people. In the end, the people and monsters embraced each other and became good friends. Why? Because they agreed that they couldn't agree on anything! LOL. Maybe Bush should try watching Powerpuff for inspiration on his diplomatic efforts in Israel. =P )

Anyway, my point is. The world is BIG. There are people out there. Suffering from serious problems. Problems like poverty, oppression, discrimination, AIDS, cancer, abuse... And here we are, or rather here I am, emo-ing and arguing over petty questions like
"Who do you support? Clinton or Obama?"
"What course should I take?"
"Will I find true love?"
"Who do you like best? Wang Li Hom or Jay Chou?"
"Why am I so short?"
"How could he treat me like this?"

I am ashamed.

To think that just a few days ago, I was so tired. Tired of life in general. Tired of fighting. Tired of dreaming. Tired of trying to forgive and love again. So tired that I felt like asking God to take me home. There's nothing worth living for on this earth. I don't want to run the race. I just want to be with my Father, where He'd always comfort me and love me and there would be no pain or sorrow.

Then I heard this song on my computer:

Say the word and I will sing for You
Over oceans deep, I will follow
If each star was a song
And every breath of wind, praise
It would still fail by far to say
All my heart contains
I simply live
I simply live for You

To live is Christ. And I was literally begging to go home. When He hasn't fulfilled His work in me here. Imagine if God had gotten sick of my pleas and agreed.

So what's my conclusion? I'll quote from what we came up with at CCF:

God is COOL! =)

P.S. Sorry la Tink, I know it's all words!
P.P.S Nick if you want the song, it's called I Simply Live for You by Hillsong. =)

Half a glass of milk

An optimist sees half a glass of milk and says the glass is half full.
A pessimist sees half a glass of milk and says the glass is half empty.

An economist sees half a glass of milk and wonders why the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
(Anonymous)

I thought this was pretty interesting.
Hmm... wonder what would a doctor say when faced with half a glass of milk? =P

Back4Part2 =)

For the last time (hopefully), please read back=) and the posts before this if you have not read them and do not want to get lost reading this.

We now officially enter the 29th of December in Harbin. It snowed heavily throughout the night so when we stepped out of the hotel the next day- WAH! A heavy carpet of snow greeted us. But the hotel bellboys were busy sweeping it away =( Even the cars were laden with snow. You could only tell it was a car because of the tyres.

Here's mum and I that extremely cold morning-
See the man behind us cleaning his car?

-First stop- Sun island! This was seriously the coldest place in the whole trip! Even with my 7 layers of clothing, I was shaking like a leaf. Every time the wind blew, I thought my face would turn to ice and break off. It was so cold that smiling was torture I tell you! So treasure every smile you see here, they were carved on our faces with exquisite pain. SO INCREDIBLY COLD. And oh, by the way, Sun Island is apparently, THE place for snow sculptures exhibition. So guess that explains the cold. But STILL... it was mind-numbingly cold. Heart-numbingly too. You definitely would not have the energy or the mood to be dreaming of any special someone or feeling emo over anything. Just... so so so so so so terribly cold. I am someone who LOVES being cold. I ADORE that cold blast of wind. But even I couldn't take it. Enough advertisements... hehe...

Snow sculpture version of the mascot of Sun Island:
The Paris Hotel (Building on left)! But carved in ice... You can actually go in!

Did I mention this place is really pretty? =D

Footsteps... leading to where...?

I would call this- desolate beauty

A real house made from wood

I surrender all~ Sun Island alright... but you can't feel the sun at all... Oops... I'm supposed to show you the snow sculptures... Sorry got carried away XD Here are some of them!

This is a really cool sculpture- but I don't think I captured any of its majestic air. Sorry!

Do you think this was how Snow White and the 7 Dwarves' house look like in winter? =)

The scenery is... breathtaking... so don't blame me for the scenic photos! They're so much more worth the trouble uploading than the sculptures don't you think?

"I am the way, the truth and the life. No one gets to the Father but through me."

-Next, we went to look at tigers! Don't ask me why though, I wasn't paying attention! =P It's like going on safari, so we were all locked up in a bus that brought us around the park.

This is the KING Tiger.
I don't know why is he made king though, he looks about the same as the others!

- We also went to the Song Hua river( again) to watch people SWIM in it. Can you imagine? SWIM!! What was the temperature that day?? -20!!!

That looks like a swimming pool, but it's actually part of the river, except that they cleared the snow off and broke the ice.

See the snow banks? I cannot imagine how cold it must have been for him!
This man was 80 years old by the way!!

If you couldn't tell from the point of view of the shots, we were standing atop the deck of a ship to watch the swimmers.

- As usual, night fell early and by the time we reached St. Sophie's church, it was dark. Which only made the church more enchantingly beautiful.

Such a beautiful place... fit for a King...
But what did China do with it??
They turned it into a cultural museum!!
Pfffttt...
It was just old photos of Harbin inside, and photos of photos are really... not my thing...
so you won't get to see them =)

The rest of the night was spent shopping!!!!! *grins*

-That night I was watching China TV and a singer named 黄圣依 sang this song. The lyrics(some of it)... seem to fit the night, and how I used to feel... Maybe it'll speak to some of you too...

秋天不回来

初秋的天 冰冷的夜 回忆慢慢袭来
真心的爱 就像落叶
为何却要分开
灰色的天 独自彷徨
城市的老地方
真的孤单 走过忧伤 心碎还要逞强 想为你披件外衣 天凉要爱惜自己
没有人比我更疼你
告诉你 在每个
想你的夜里
我哭的好无力
就让秋风带走我的思念 带走我的泪
我还一直静静守候在
相约的地点
求求老天淋湿我的双眼 冰冻我的心
让我不再苦苦奢求你还
回来我身边

*Think those who know me well enough can guess what it means when I bold some parts =)*

Finally, the 30th! We woke up at an unearthly hour and flew back to Beijing where again we did more shopping. * grins some more*
-After the time we spent in Harbin, Beijing was like Genting to us =D
Nothing special to mention about Beijing except that the food was WAY better.
- Oh yes, that night we were brought to some farm to eat farm food Beijing-style, which was... not to my liking at all (I'm trying to be nice here).

They don't look bad here right?
A classic example of how looks can be deceiving.

There... guess what this is!
Can't guess??
It's a type of seaweed!!!
....................
By the way, this is how the dish looks after we finished dinner. =)

-That night I also visited the hot spring available with En Hui and my mum. We were rather excited as it was all our first time. And we weren't worried as the rules demanded that each be clad in swimming attire in the hot spring.

Unfortunately, we never made it past the girls' changing room. It was a positively frightening experience. Once we stepped in, we saw rows and rows of lockers and a big common area. It was one huge room. No separate cubicles or even doors to be seen. So what else do you think we saw??

Naked women. And more naked women. TONS of naked women.
Not just naked women changing. That would be at least understandable.
But naked women walking around!
Naked women sitting together and having a juicy chat!
And not just naked women!
Naked little girls!!
Naked women blowing their hair vigorously with the hair dryer!
And as girls, I'm sure you all know what happens when we do vigorous activities...
*shudders*
TOTAL culture shock.

The three of us looked at each other, our shock mirrored in each other's eyes.
We left.
And met my bro outside.
He had gone into the men's changing room and saw many, many fat men.
Enough said.
We ALL left.

I apologise for the lack of photos here. I'm sure you understand why.

THE 31st!
- We were herded into some tea shop and forced to listen to a lecture on the virtues of the Pu Er tea. Poor tour guide- NONE of us bought anything.

- We did more shopping at the local markets, where those sales people seriously ask for ridiculous prices. My dad bought a jacket for 90 when the man asked for 800! *rolls eyes*

- Then, the airport. We had a fantastic farewell though, right before we boarded our plane. (Beijing's airport is the type whereby you have to walk on the airport itself.)
As we were climbing up the stairs, a gust of wind blew. A STRONG GUST. Blew and blew and blew. A wind with the temperature worthy of Sun Island in Harbin. My face didn't feel as though it belonged to me for at least half an hour after that. Not to mention the hour I spent untangling the knots in my hair after being wind-tossed.

-We arrived back at KLIA around 12am on January 1st. Thus endeth the trip.

*Heaves a sigh of relief*

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Now... for the random thoughts and feelings I've had since the trip ended.

黑色毛衣

~一件黑色毛衣 二个人的回忆...
...你不用在意 流泪也只是刚好而已...
...黑色毛衣 藏在哪里 就让回忆永远停在那里~

Particularly apt... since we DO have to keep all the woolen clothing =)


And a book I've read many times... but still makes me cry every time I read it.
《有个女孩叫Feeling》
By: 藤井树

我认识一个女孩，她的名字叫Feeling
她说，曾经有个男孩子很爱她， 当那个男孩子离开时，
同时带走了她最原始的 feeling；
她说，她不碰爱情， 因为自己有太多感情；
她说，她总是在不同的环境中，遇到相同的爱情，
看着身边的男孩来来去去，却无法让自己为他们停下来；
她说，她不能再一次负荷爱情的流逝，
那像是参加自己的葬礼， 而自己明明想在爱情里呼吸......

***END***

Back4 part 1=)

I just read the news today- Johor MIC deputy chief shot!! ...... First political assassination of Dr. Chua and now this! (At least these are the only 2 I know about) Maybe it's just me... but somehow things do seem to get a little heated up before GE comes. At least one good thing's happening- KLCI's reaching an all-time high! Which, of course, should make many voters pretty happy... haha... But I'm just talking shop, don't mind me. My remarks are purely random and none of my fingers are pointing anywhere at anyone. =)

Okay, back to the China trip. Hopefully I'll be able to finish the whole thing this time- I seriously dread a Back5=) post!

On the 28th of December after lunch, FINALLY, we travelled to Harbin- the main destination of this trip. Harbin has this really picturesque nickname- the Pearl around the Neck of a Swan, which lends wings to any imagination I'm sure, but doesn't tell you anything about the place at all. Harbin also has another name- Ice City. A bit boring perhaps, but you have to admit it, it does serve its purpose.

-Upon arrival, we were brought to a ginseng shop and offered some ginseng tea. In exchange, we had to listen and listen to a talk on how ginseng is good for your body... yada yada... Funny how every time you go on one of these China tours, you're bound to be brought to some jewellery shops or some Chinese medicine shops- have you noticed how the time the tour guide keeps you in the shop is almost inversely proportional to the amount and cost of the things you buy (if any)? But I have to hand it to the salesgirls- they are SO persistent!! If you show even the slightest interest in their goods, they'll hound you until you buy it.

A sales girl found a victim in my poor darling grandma, and followed her all the way from the 1st floor to the ground floor of the shop to the exit, just to sell her 5 stalks of 冬虫夏草 which literally translated means Winter Worm Summer Grass, each of roughly the length of 6cm for 300RMB!! These herbs (for lack of a better term) are supposed to be good for the lungs and aunt says it's proven, so in the end my Grandma did buy it. In case you're wondering how those little things look like, here's a photo of them from www.cncn.gov.cn (we were too lazy to take photos of the actual thing):

And 5 of them cost roughly RM150! And if I'm not mistaken, you can only use them once!

Now, to the highlight of the day and one of main aims of the whole trip- ICE CARVINGS!! We entered this park, where even the entrance itself is carved from ice, and there are lights embedded inside. I have no idea how they do it, but if you're trying to imagine how it looks like, let me help. Imagine a block of ice the size and shape of a shoe box, with a fluorescent light bulb inside(half the length of the long type we see all the time) in any colour you want- pink, yellow, green, blue... Then imagine tons of blocks of ice stacked together to form whatever buildings you want. The ice sculptures are different though- I think they're carved from one single huge block of ice.

OH... and it snowed as we were entering the park that night! As well as for the rest of the night!! So so so incredibly romantic... *fantasizes* =p Anyway, I'll let the photos do the talking:

Always always remember that the photos are really no match for the real thing, and when it's snowing, the photo quality is just 10% of the original beauty! (I know I know... will work on photographing ability =) )

See the building behind us? That's an example of what I was talking about =)

I love the effect here (although the photo itself isn't good)! If you can't see what I'm talking about I think you have to enlarge the photo.

Mickey made from ice!

I like doorways like this =)

I saw the lamp post and just had to pose with it XD
Think of how they carved the round ball atop the post from ice!!
Unless they cheated and froze the water while it was in a sphere mould =(

In case you're wondering- that's supposed to be a tiger. That's the bad thing about ice. Can't really tell unless you see it in person.

Another sculpture... don't ask me what it is. I can't tell either... paiseh =P
Posing time!! ARGH even the poses don't come out nice! Click if you want a closer look!
And yes we were standing on ice. SLIPPERY!

This... is a HUGE steep, curving slide made from ice. Bro and I went on it. We hit the sides so many times! I still have one visible bruise on my side >.<

We all just had to take another photo with it =)

Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall~

A reindeer!

My bro on a dog sleigh.
By the way, the bright shiny blob on the top left isn't the moon...
...it's the result of light+drop of snow.

If only you were there to see the real thing...
I cannot describe to you how this made me feel...
山穷水尽疑无路，柳暗花明又一村~

I admit... We were really getting a bit too much XD
Ah well at least you don't have to see it clearly... unless you click~

Finally a photo in which you can see what the carving is!
But you can't see the people's faces clearly... haha... but notice something!! There's not a speck of snow to be seen in this photo! Wonder how my dad managed that

Hmm... all these photos actually look alright in my comp, so I'm guessing it's because the photo's small here that you can't see us properly... which is good =)
Don't think my grandma wants people to recognise her when she walks on the streets haha...
See the castle behind? That's the playground built purely from ice! Isn't it pretty? =D

I like this scene- although only the bases are made from ice. It was like walking under a canopy of lights!

More photos~

Frozen flowers and butterflies!

Another pose~

PRESENTING...
...something...
I can't tell what it is from here...

OH... it was a boat XD

En Hui and I *trying* to act cute~ Don't think we succeeded... LOL

Did I mention how COLD it was???

The boys trying to act cool

Can you see the snow gathered on my dad's shoulders and head??

The two guys in the photo with my parents are two bachelor guys whom we were tourmates with, who have the most amazing sense of humour. They're seriously like brothers I tell you! They do everything together and they care for each other so much! (No they aren't partners) They're genuinely, honestly best of friends. I can't imagine what'll happen if one suddenly decides to get married.

Ban Lim and I

And one big happy family!
Our heads are all laden with snow!

So that's it for the visit to the ice carving park, which has a history of >50 years and counting. But honestly, if you ask me, I still think that nature has so much more beauty to offer compared to anything man can make with his hands. Granted, ice carvings are pretty, but give me real botak trees any day! =)

-Dinner wasn't great at all. But the weather was so cold that Grandma decided to take some Harbin local beer! Which, I think tastes better than any of the China beer we had so far.

And hmmm... I know I said there wasn't going to be a part 5, but... I need to have dinner now and I'm a bit tired... so...
there won't be a part 5!

There'll just be Back4 part2!! =)