Once again...

... I'm back.

For those who don't know, it's been quite a busy week for me. I went for my church's Valentine youth retreat on the 16th-17th of February, and since then have been attending orientation week at Monash, culminating in transition camp in Port Dickson. As you can probably guess, I've just come back.

But before I begin, here are some photos from Tink's farewell =)

I wonder whose great idea was it that we pose with the pole LOL

BEFORE:

AFTER:
Proper photo of Tink and me finally...
Group photo!!

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Firstly, Valentine's youth retreat. To say that it was an life-changing experience would be a gross understatement. The place was awesome- we were in Gopeng, in a huge bungalow complete with swimming pool and basketball court smack right in the middle of a palm oil plantation. What did we do there? Basically it was a boy-girl relationship talk, the content which actually most of us know- but in our heads, not our hearts.

-What did we learn there? It was a talk on gender roles, because too often nowadays, men and women get their roles confused. I thought I understood guys and the way they think well enough, but I was wrong. Dead wrong. We were put into mixed groups, so that we could hear from the guys' perspectives, and seriously, it was an eye-opening experience. I'll summarise the general role of men here from the Christian's perspective:

1. To work: Not to work as in just earning a salary, but to have something to do, because men need to feel useful and needed, and work gives them a purpose in life.
2. To take the lead: Yes all feminists may jump on me now, but the men are the heads of the household, but not to abuse their power by being a tyrant, because true leadership is about serving. This is not to say that women can't lead, but that men have a natural penchant for leadership. This includes the area of relationships. No doubt, you can disagree with me, and yes there are exceptions, but exceptions maketh not a case. Leadership includes making decisions, so next time when your child comes running to you asking, "daddy can I go out?" DON'T ANSWER "I don't know, ask your mum." Have your opinion, and consult your wife. Girls, don't let your ego get in the way alright? (Yes guys, girls have egos too =P) We have a natural tendency to prefer to have someone to depend on for leadership, and there is no law that says we cannot help the men while they lead. What we need to do is to acknowledge their ability to lead. By the way, chivalry is also a way of taking the lead.
3. To sacrifice: Guys are wired to be sacrificial ( I can see the guys shaking their head in disbelief now). Disbelieve me all you want, but this is again linked to their need to feel needed and the penchant to be leaders, and sometimes leadership entails sacrifice. OH, and this was interesting-
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it.
-To sacrifice, even to the point of death.

Believe me, I'm as shocked as you are. I mean, it would be so sweet and ideal for you to love your wife enough to die for her, but for it to be a commandment from the Bible? Wow. Gives a whole new dimension to carrying your cross daily and following Him, don't you think?

General role of women:
1. To help : Vague isn't it? Help in which area? The answer is all. We were designed to be man's helper.
Genesis 2:18 It is not good that man should be alone; I will make a helper comparable to him.
Comparable. It DOES NOT mean that we are a class lower than the men, rather, we are equal.
Girls, ever wondered why we can multitask but the men can only do one thing at a time? It is precisely because we are made to help, in every possible area, so we need the time and skills.
2. Nurture: By nature we are more loving and caring creatures, but let us not just glory in having such attributes but not make use of them. To nurture is to encourage others to grow, physically (enough said =P), mentally(that's why girls mature faster than guys! So that they can help them grow!) as well as spritually. Girls, have you been doing your nurturing duty today?
3. Sensitivity: God designed us to be sensitive creatures, so guys, it's not our fault we cry a lot(or maybe it's just me=P). There's nothing wrong with being sensitive at all, in fact, it is this sensitivity that helps us to be more compassionate and empathetic compared to the guys. Once again, this is not to say guys aren't sensitive and compassionate- I would be the last one to make such a claim, especially since I know so many of you who are such kind and understanding people(you know who you are). I'm just speaking in general terms. These are but roles, we must allow for character differences. Anyway, my point is, girls, embrace your sensitivity, and guys, remember that girls are sensitive and watch the way you treat them!
By the way, sensitive does include being perasan as well! =)

I love this quote from Matthew Henry:
The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam;
not made out of his head to rule over him,
nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him,
but out of his side to be equal with him,
under his arm to be protected,
and near his heart to be beloved.

NEXT:
"We broke up because we weren't compatible."
"I want a boyfriend who is loving, understanding, smart, handsome..."
"I'm single because none of the girls I've met are my type."

Any of this sound familiar to you? Admit it, either consciously or subconsciously, we all have a checklist in our heads about who and how our ideal partner should act, look and be like. This in itself is not wrong, except that, in your relentless pursuit of Mr/Ms Right, have you ever wondered whether are YOU the right person for him/her? The challenge: Instead of looking for the right person, why not focus on being the right person instead?

OH... and the speaker also mentioned this- that loneliness should NOT be a reason for starting a relationship, because you'll never be satisfied. I know it's hard- your friends all around are coupling up, and you're single! I admit it, I struggle with loneliness a LOT. The temptation is just so great to simply find someone and couple up. The thing is, a relationship that isn't balanced will never be a healthy one, and can only end in heartbreak. We need to be able to feel comfortable being alone without getting lonely. We need to be content with ourselves, before we look for someone else. NO ONE on this earth can ever complete you. A healthy and happy relationship is not one where two perfect halves come together(because we aren't made as half a person in the first place!). It is one where two happy, contented people come together, not because they complete each other, but simply because they love one another. I hope you get what I'm trying to say...

One thing really cool about that camp was that we had the Enchanted Dinner- where we all dressed up and the guys were wonderful gentlemen!!

Here's one of my best church friends, Michelle Lau
(I don't look nice here, so focus on Michelle!)

And this is my cousin, another Michelle =)

She forgot to bring her dress, so she's wearing one of mine. Doesn't she look pretty??

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Next, I promised someone I'll explain my views on premarital sex, so here it is. I'm sacrificing my sleep for you here, so you better read closely( I sound so fierce =P)!

Why do we get into relationships in the first place? Because we love the person and we would like to spend the rest of our lives with that person right(at least that's for me)? As my church elders always tell me, sex is a beautiful, wonderful thing invented by God and it is to celebrate the love of a couple and tie them intimately together. But let's not talk about sex just yet. Let's talk about relationships.

Our hearts are fragile, easily broken, difficult to mend. Just how many people do you intend to love romantically in a lifetime? Let's just say you finally found this girl, Mary whom you love with all your heart and soul. On your wedding day, you are going to present to her your heart, in exchange for hers. You've had a couple of relationships before, and a few crushes before that- (remember how some people always say to their ex, "you'll always have a place in my heart"?), so the heart you present to her will once have had the name Jill written all over it, then was liquid-papered over with Sandra, then rollered over with Rebecca and finally, you stuck a white label over it and emblazoned Mary on it. And Mary hands over her heart to you, pure and clean of any guy's name except with your name, enshrined in gold. How would you feel? She loves you enough not to mind about your past, but won't you mind terribly then? Won't you wish it could be a fair exchange- that your heart could be as pure as hers? Some of us might have already had a few names written in our hearts and then erased, it's okay. The past is past, but the present can still be changed.

Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23

Do not stir nor awaken love
Until it pleases.
Songs of Solomon 2:7

Likewise with pre-marital sex. To wait until your wedding night to have sex is a token of love, a way of showing him/her how much you love them- that you love them enough to control yourself, to wait. Maybe you're in a relationship and you feel that he/she is the one whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Then go ahead, get married and then you can have sex! Why do you want to have sex with her, but not want to get married with her? If you're not sure if she's the one, if you're afraid of the consequences of it to your relationship, then why bother with sex in the first place? If the time is right, get married. If the time isn't right for marriage, it isn't right for sex as well. The consequences of marriage are the same as those of sex. The best wedding present you could give to your wife/husband is not an expensive wedding or wedding ring or honeymoon; it is your virginity, and a clean heart, because it is proof of your love for them. Think of it this way- how would you feel if your future wife/husband is having sex with someone else this very moment because it's okay to have premarital sex? In the same way, treat other people's wives/husbands the way you want your future spouse to be treated. That includes all the hugging and kissing and other intimacies we engage in in a relationship. Never do anything you might regret of later on. I can confess here that I've done some things which I thought were right at the time because I thought the time was right, but I regretted later on. Don't fall into the same trap as I did! Purity, once lost, can never be regained.

Honestly, I'm not trying to preach here, but this is an issue that really makes sense to me, and I want you to understand my point of view, regardless of whether you, who are reading this, are Christian or not, because loving someone enough to wait to have sex with the person only after marriage, is an ultimate expression of love. I hope you're convinced =)

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How was transition camp? It was held by the medical school: really fun, but gruelling- physically and emotionally. It really made me think long and hard about whether this was the right path for me. I thought I was mentally prepared, but I wasn't. I'll post up the photos on the camp another time, but I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank someone- I'm not sure if you want to be named, so I won't name you, for listening to me talk this afternoon (when you could have spent it with your gang of friends)- complaints, tears, your lame joke=P and for spending time with me when I needed you. Thank you.

让我感动的事情， 我会一直放在心上。