Unpredictability. Guess that's one thing that you can at least reliably predict about life. We go about our daily business, hoping to accomplish something that would matter, that would mean something to someone. You make plans. One wrong foot, and the whole thing falls to pieces in your face. Or you could live happily ever after. I'm just speaking hypothetically, not talking about romance here, though I know you're thinking it.
We were talking about 'thing's the other day. You know, like the 'thing' you're good in... you've found your thing, your niche, the stage where you shine? What if... I don't have one? I used to think I was good at writing. My childhood dream was to be an authoress like Enid Blyton, to write children's books. Guess reality and the doctor dream won. What if... I was born in a different country? What if I was of a different race and different upbringing, that would encourage big and impossible dreams? Would I have taken the plunge? Oh, and underline the word used in used to think. I saw what good writing was like, even in my secondary school, I don't think I would have made the cut. So back to my question. What if I don't have a thing? Have I not found it yet? Or is there no thing for me? Why don't I have a thing? I'm rambling...
My point is, I'm home. No matter what happens out there in that big scary not-s0-sterile ward where I can't seem to do anything right, don't have any answers when the questions come, where I just can't measure up, I'm home now. To take a breather, to muster up all the courage family love can give, and try again. I am so happy to have a place I can call home. And I take comfort that there is another home waiting for me, anytime He calls me back. I won't lie to you, I'm really afraid of dying, but I really want to go to heaven too. Daddy please remind me of that everytime I feel like I'm straying cuz I don't want to know what life is without you? Thanks...
At least that's one more thing we can predict about life. Home, now and eternal.
p/s Mr. Z with the gluteal sore and paravertebral abscess, I'm sorry about your mother's demise. I hope you're feeling better now. Happy hari raya... I'm proud of you for crying.
p/s Street people, I hope your absence on the streets means you're celebrating hari raya somewhere with your family... I really do.
Praying that everyone in this world will have a place they can call home, and the infinite comfort it brings.
