so just maybe...

I didn't do very well for MCR. But I passed. Happy =)
Speaking to the patient today, I was thinking just maybe... just maybe... I can become a real doctor. Those people who can tell what's wrong with you.

From now on I will always ask smoking history even if the patient looks like a little boy. I will also always count respiratory rate regardless of whether patient looks comfortable. That's a promise.

thank you God for seeing me through. And Li, Nicholas and mummy who prayed.

treasure

As I stood in bedside tonight, looking at the earnest faces around, I wondered- what is my treasure? What do the people around me treasure?

We attend lectures in late evenings and extra bedsides during free time to learn more, we go for dinners and get-togethers to bond, we watch series after series for that hot actor/actress/brain-melting entertainment... what is it we treasure? What do we hope to gain?

I see that uncle with stomach cancer so bad he's under palliative care, lying on the bed smiling so kindly at me everytime I go to see him and make conversation, he and I both knowing I'm just trying to find words to say to fill the emptiness... The girl with a brain tumor of 11 years tells me how she tried to "go home to die" instead of undergoing a surgery because she is afraid of being in a vegetative state... No wonder people become surgeons. They want to know they're doing something meaningful, they want to truly make a difference.

I know I'm not making much sense. Nicholas Grace Sarah Terence Jun Yet Tim Christine Beng Sam Hui Ruan Evonne Jo Hans Li Jonathan Suks... i treasure you. I take comfort in the fact that people dun read my blog so this is safe.

from the treasure of the heart the mouth speaks.

to be near you

so blessed to have you.

interesting interesting...

Yesterday was an interesting day indeed.

Pastor talked about being present. Not being here but thinking of what I need to do there, but to focus my mind on right here right now.

I had a good lunch with close friends I haven't talked to in a long time.

I signed up for ballroom dancing classes.

I clerked a patient with undiagnosed bloody diarrhoea and one month abdominal pain. Colonoscopy and OGDS reveal no lesions.

I entered the operating theatre for the first time in my life, dressed up like Gray's anatomy people and watched 2 surgeries. Finger attachment and a LeFort I. Stayed there from 730pm-1230am on a Sunday night. You have to respect the surgeons.

Stayed up to watch Spain and Holland fight it out. Slept at 5am.

Woke up for discussion on chronic liver disease for 3.5 hours. And enjoyed myself thoroughly.

MCRs are coming up. Am I whole-hearted about what I do? Will I be?

God help me.

little things

1. i have amazing housemates.
2. i have wonderful permanent residents.
3. surgeons aren't exactly the nicest people in the world, but they command respect.
4. God has answered my prayer again.
5. I will be content.
6. Did I tell you my boyfriend is the most patient, kindest person in the world?
7. He really is.
8. With God, these 4-5 months in surgery will count for something.
9. i will be compassionate and think for my patients.
10. i love my family to bits.
11. i will not judge.
12. i will be secure.